Late Weigh-in and health worry rant

I’ve been super busy since just before Father’s Day! I’ve sat down to blog a few times and could never finish. Here’s to hoping this one makes it!

Starting Weight: 261.2lbs
Weight Last week: 230lbs
Current Weight: 229.7lbs
Weekly Loss/gain: 0.3lbs
Total Loss: 31.5lbs

Well, I broke the 230s, not by much but I did it! The weekend festivities didn’t get me down as far as bad food or anything, I just couldn’t seem to get all my water in (close, but that doesn’t count) for like five days. I could feel the dehydration and retention. So, I will take the small loss.

Now, I want to talk about something that is bothering me. Like, personal, scary bothering me.

When I went to the doctor last week, I made her feel a lump on my chest that I had noticed two days prior after taking off my bra and the area being sore (it’s mid way between my collarbone and boob on the left side). She agreed it was odd, said she would request an authorization for an ultrasound and that I should schedule a breast exam with my OB just to be sure. At the time, I figured it could be just a fatty cyst, after all, this journey has made my body do some weird stuff so far.

Come Monday of this week, I go to feel the area again. Now it feels like there are up to three little lumps and there’s this weird texture between them under the skin. There is no discoloration, the area IS sore and sometimes even hurts depending what I am doing when I am working out.

So naturally, now I am a little more freaked out. I couldn’t get into see my OB until 7/2. Then, today, I get a voice mail from a place with “Imaging and Oncology” in the business name and freak the fuck out. Like, didn’t realize how worried I was about it freak out. And still, the earliest appointment with them isn’t until 7/3 so. Shitballs.

I realize they still could just be fatty cysts, my mom had something similar and benign in her boobies a few years ago. They could also be muscle knots I guess from my son throwing his entire being onto my entire being on the daily.

It is, however, ultimately really scary that it could be something that I can’t just brush off. I can’t shake that part and my anxiety is happening in serious waves.

I don’t want to make a mountain out of a mole hill – but I also don’t want to dismiss the mountain just in case that’s the deal. I don’t know how to find a balance of worry and don’t worry ’til you see the doc between now and then.

I talked to my mom about it and she kind of brushed it off. My sister, though, has been totally on my ass, in a good way, about asking me who I’ve heard back from, ha.

So, there you have it. I’m trying my best and doing pretty well about keeping most everything else on track in the meantime. I’ve been tracking as accurately as possible on MyFitnessPal (drop me your email so I can add you!), getting my workouts in 5-6 days a week. In fact, I added lateral raises to my strength routine last week as well as a 8lb dumbbell to my squats this week. Adding in moderation.

I am really missing my family and friends.


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