Pan the Man

I was on the phone with my sister when I found out Robin Williams had died. Sincerely, I had hoped it was a nasty prank but alas, truth.

I’ve never before been so impacted by a ‘celebrity’ death. I can’t stop the hurt my heart is feeling over this one, like my very own kin has passed. The sorrow I feel over his depression and his counter of being able to make the entire world smile and laugh is almost too much. It feels so real and it really hits close to home.

I grew up with this man, perhaps not literally, but he was always in my home.¬† He’s Peter Pan (Panning! Pan! Panning!), he’s waiting for us to roll a 5 or 8, he’s my favorite silly doctor and my favorite teacher. Yet, the only role I can really picture him in right now is in “What Dreams May Come” – it seems a little darker but a little bit more beautiful at the same time.

I don’t even know how to continue to broach the subject, except, that unless you have been there and experienced such despair, it is hard to understand why such a brilliant, generous, kind and overall stellar example of a human being decided it was finally too much to stay any longer. 

I once tried when I was 16. Thankfully, it  didn’t work and all I did was end up retching all night. I have fought depression for most of my life and it isn’t easy. I have had family attempt and a couple of friends “succeed”. Mental and emotional health should not be taken lightly, it can be utterly crippling. It is so important to be knowledgeable and in tune with the human condition, I cannot stress this enough.

So what can you say about a fella who brightened some of your most tumultuous years and so suddenly and  tragically left?

You’re right, Genie, I ain’t never had a friend like you.



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