Thanksgiving Eve

Does anyone else associate any holiday with a massive deep house cleaning?

This morning I got straight to the kitchen. I’ve already cleaned the cabinets and drawers, done the dishes, cleaned the refrigerator, oven, stove, backsplash in all of those places on the walls. It’s been kind of a grody morning, really.

Later will be laundry and potato prep Turkey prep and… in between keeping my son entertained, fed, dry and alive, of course.

Sleep in general still eludes me. When I do sleep, I sleep hard, I’m just having a hard time finding my power button, I guess. My legs get restless, my mind gets restless, I get itchy or the boy rustles and my Mom Radar goes on, always, right as I had been slipping into the arms of the Sandman. Rinse and repeat. It could be worse, I would just like to feel alert because I got enough rest not because energy tea came to the rescue. I bet it would feel good. Small problems on the grand, world scale.

I think one of my felines is… not well. He’s my favorite, even though I shouldn’t have one out of the three. He’s a tuxedo, used to sit on my shoulder as a kitten while I did whatever around the house. He likes to lay under blankets and have his own pillow. He’s barely got a voice but he’s a cats-cat, otherwise. When we first got him, he had not eaten in three days and hadn’t pooped in a week and was on the mend within 24hrs with me. He’s 9.5years old now and has been around for all of the really awful and really wonderful things the past decade has had to offer. He’s getting so skinny, not for lack of trying to fatten him up while his brothers are at a total plateau even on Science Diet. One of them looks like Garfield Godfather Kitty. A little ridiculous, albeit cute.

Anyway, my tuxedo cat wouldn’t even really eat a can of tuna this morning. I’ve checked his gums and nose and have felt for anything abnormal on his body. He seems otherwise playful, just… Getting skeletal. Maybe this is what a normal sized adult cat looks and feels like? All three were so chubby for so long and this one seemed to drop weight and then go too far. Maybe his a-hole brothers aren’t letting him eat or maybe my two year-old is stressing him out, though he seems to do the best with him out of all three cats.

Enough about my feline(s).

I sent out a total of three boxes of clothes between my cousin and a friend this week. My small clothing swap! Now if I could find someone further ahead in the game than I… Ha! We also donated four boxes worth of other clothes, kitchen appliances and random stuff to the VAA (Vietnam Vets) yesterday. My husband introduced me to the idea of doing good for others on your birthday to show your thankfulness for a year of still living. I have run with it ever since – hence donating on my son’s birthday.

I’m procrastinating again. I’ve got shit to do.

Weigh in Tuesday

I will, for the sake of limited nap time on the Birthday Boy’s part, try to make this as brief as possible. We all know I can be a bit long-winded….. 🙂

Starting Weight Feb 2014: 261.2lbs 
Weight Last Week: 190.5lbs
Current Weight: 188.3lbs
Weekly +/-:  -2.2lbs
Total Shed: 72.9lbs

Well, well…. Out of the 190s! I am hesitant to celebrate as there is still a birthday to celebrate and Thursday (in America) is Thanksgiving.

I guess the losses feel fraudulent even though they aren’t. I’ve not gotten any “regular” workouts in for weeks now. We do walk to and from the store almost everyday since we can’t shop in bulk right now. Any trips to the bank requires a walk.. anything requires a walk right now. Banking 10+ miles a week so far for November. I’ve also been trying to help burn some of my son’s boundless engery by playing on the floor – lots of hiding and chasing games, plus he likes to climb on me and be lifted or thrown or just carried. So, I guess between all of that and what it takes to maintain a home that doesn’t look like a complete disaster at the end of the day…. I’m probably doing okay in the exercise department. I think I just miss the focus on myself during those times.

Birthday Boy today is 2. I baked some chocolate chip cookies last night (I’ve had two, one yesterday and one after our walk today) and I plan on baking yellow cupcakes with chocolate frosting later. He had home made organic whole wheat waffles this morning – I did not, mostly because I forgot to eat in general. He will have organic mac and cheese and we will have steamed artichoke annnnd… something else. Ha.

Thanksgiving food plan? All the regular stuff. Turkey, stuffing, potatoes, cranberries – you know. YUM. There’s really only 3 of us though, possibly a friend and his 4 year old daughter, but either way we don’t have to make a ton of stuff and if our friend comes over I would certainly send them home with food. I’m not super worried about it. I can’t eat like I’m going to the chair anymore, stomach is much smaller and reacts.

I’m also going to try baking bread…. And cinnamon bread. Uhh. I have been using King Arthur Organic flours….and their recipes.

Anyway…. Will need to find people to give some of these cookies and cupcakes too. I have faith in myself but my husband’s kind of a fiend for pastries. I caught him with a cookie and his coffee this morning. 😀

He is down 50lbs though. Officially, as of today!

I feel like I’m rambling. This is me not wanting to be on my feet anymore, haha.

This wasn’t brief in the slightest.

Suck it up! Have a good day!

Progress Pictures

As previously promised to myself and to everyone else, I took progress pictures Wednesday. I even compiled my side-by-sides Wednesday but couldn’t find the time or energy to post them.

I try to take them at approximately every 10lbs down. Here are my 70+lbs gone progress photos!

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Fuzzy "before" and current for this. Sorry! Phones cracked this time around. 🙂

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Muscles, Size 16 top in the middle there, proof of collarbones.

Can’t find or create good lighting in this place to save my life. I’m actually wearing blue in my current pics even though my attire looks black.

Also, I made play dough for my son’s upcoming second birthday:

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Now if I can stop myself from playing with it before his birthday on Tuesday....

And this fancy, hand knitted Monster friend? A gift for my boy that I commissioned from a friend!

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Wish you could see the spikes on his back!

Alright. Other than all that I think I fixed my laptop enough to breathe a few months life into it before the processor overheats and dies. Everything is backed up and running as best it can now!

Time to go draw some birthday cards!

Weigh-in Tuesday on wee Wednesdaymorning.

I haven’t forgot about you or this or that.

It’s weigh in day. I wasn’t especially anxious for it but I was curious, especially after last week’s 2.4lb gain.

Here we go:

Starting Weight Feb 2014: 261.2lbs 
Weight Last Week: 194.4lbs
Current Weight: 190.5lbs
Weekly +/-:  -3.9lbs
Total Shed: 70.7lbs

Quite the flip/flop from last week and that officially puts me 70+lbs lighter. Roughly 27% of my original body weight in February is gone and I’m over half-way through my goal overall. That’s pretty impressive.

I mean, those are my statistics and only a small portion of them. That’s really fucking cool.  Progress pictures are in order but they definitely didn’t happen today. Tonight? Hopefully sometime this week when things slow down, if they slow down!

I’ve just been busy and I’ve been exhausted because we are still walking, walking, walking. It’s gotten easier but a roundtrip is a minimum of 40-45 minutes and usually over and hour when I am with my husband and son. Just depends how many places we have to stop at.

Got all my sons pics and videos backed up properly, which is good since my laptop may be taking its final dump. We will see. I’ve spent the last three days on it, so much so, I think the boys in my life are feeling neglected. I miss being in sync with technology so I don’t have to waste time like this. My hope is to get it running well enough to finish photo projects for Christmas, it can rest in pieces after that should it choose to. Can’t even think of a new laptop (maybe used?) until we are out of the hole with this car thing.

Ahhh, I needed to brush up on my skills anyway.

Good night!

Collecting Myself

Well, it’s almost 1am and I can’t sleep. I suspect it’s due to the energy tea I had at 5pm in a desperate attempt at dulling a ferocious headache. It worked, I just have to get up around 6am. My human alarm clock.

Lots of headaches over the last week. Really wicked headaches. Probably PMS, the obvious following and I’m pretty sure I need glasses. I find myself squinting an awful lot and lights really bother me. I’ve had these anti-glare lens glasses for a number of years and they still help with glare and lights but… I dunno. I’ve never had an eye exam before. It took me until 3 or 4 years ago to finally be able to put eye drops in my eyeballs to relieve the itchy/burny brought on by allergies. In my defense, I did get out the insurance paperwork and I can get an exam and glasses covered… Just all the numbers I get aren’t correct for self referral. Cool.

I’ve been trying to turn it around since Tuesday was a trainwreck all day for me. Wednesday was filled with laundry and cleaning of all kinds. Like washing the stuffed animals and air drying them, throwing all my sons toys into the tub with a vinegar/alcohol/h2o combo to clean them all at once, spot cleaning anything with straps with Shout and a tooth brush. That kinda thing. Typical house chores too, just an overall deep cleaning on the place.

I am trying Amazon Prime free trial right now. Free 2 day shipping for 30 days during the holidays and while we are out of a car? Sure! So Wednesday I had received my first order which was just color ink for my printer. Way cheaper on Amazon. It wouldn’t print without both cartridges even when set to b/w, so annoying. So I set my printer up and did all the cleaning settings on that bad boy for a long while since it hadn’t printed anything in maybe four years? Spoiler alert, it’s legit.

So, since my printer was running I decided on Thursday I should clean up the laptop and start backing it up in the event it finally decides to die for good. I went through and transferred everything off of my phone and organized all my photo files and folders along with videos, got rid of unnecessary or unused programs. I have over 20GB just in video of my son, which is kind of obscene, but that’s alright. So, definitely need some kind of storage because I filled my HDD to the brim today and my 2 & 8GB flash drives just aren’t going to cut it. Luckily, I signed up for Amazon Prime and they’re doing before black Friday deals. After much research, I did decide to go flash drive versus a fancy external hdd. Cost, room, laptop all to consider. I found a 64GB for $21. Not too shabby. Now that everything is organized I can’t wait to transfer and know that it’s safe and off of my to-do list. It’s been nagging at the back of my mind for months to do this. One less thing.

I did also use the opportunity to redeem some Pampers Rewards points. For those of you without kiddos, basically it’s entering a code and you get neat things for “free” (so many points to redeem stuff thats worth it. Lots of shutterfly packages though!). Anyway, I redeemed a 13″ Plush Elmo and a Sesame Street “P is for Potty” book for my son. The hope is they get here in time for Christmas! I also got started on projects on Shutterfly I have to finish and order (mostly redemptions from pampers). Calendar, putting the Christmas card together, figuring out what prints I’m ordering for which set of family members (it’s always more than I anticipate). A different kind of productive day.

I suppose it could be viewed as taking control where I can since my bad day on Tuesday. So be it. It calms me.

I’ve also been volunteering myself to walk to the store almost everyday. Its basically a guaranteed 2 mile walk roundtrip, so why not?

Tomorrow, today? Cards. I have three cards to make. Gambit, Mickey and some Monster friends. And I need to finish them all in like 4-7 days. Should be….fun. I always end up having fun when I draw. The last one I did in October was for my brother and it was Terra from FF6 in human and Esper form. I also did a small Shadow and Interceptor, who looked like I plucked them right out of the game. Turned out so good. I used to draw rpg game characters with my brother when we were kids. Throwback gift. /nerdrant

Somehow I think it all had to happen the way it did. The trip North, the car breaking down, walking everywhere, the meltdown and the build-up. I feel like, yeah, things are kind of tough, but so am I. It could be worse and is, for so many.

One foot in front of the other, one step at a time. Bring it on, life.

Weigh-in Tuesday

Well, as suspected… This one is not so good, so lets just get to it.

Starting Weight Feb 2014: 261.2lbs 
Weight Last Week: 192.0lbs
Current Weight: 194.4lbs
Weekly +/-:  +2.4lbs
Total Shed: 66.8lbs

So, basically a two and a half pound gain. Several factors, both positive and negative, did not keep my eyes dry about it. Even a little. I straight up started the self hate immediately even though I know better.

So here are some things to consider:

1. I ate candy for five days straight. All five days I was under calorie goal but I still consumed like 5 fun size candies all those days.

2. 17 miles of walking last week. I am sure there’s some muscle building happening as well. My legs, butt and back can attest.

3. We don’t have a car right now, so we werent super well hydrated for a few days until we were able to get a ride to pick up a few cases of water.  Water rentention.

4. My lady business is supposed to start any time now, so, there’s that. Ladies know what’s up.

5. In all this time I’ve not had a lot of gains, I know this is circumstantial and not all because of candy even though that’s what I feel like beating myself up for.

6. Our food budget was low/out until yesterday, so now there is more fresh stuff in the house, but was not as much the case for the last week.

So, there it is. Talking it out with the hubs and knowing all of these things as facts don’t necessarily make me feel better, but they do keep me honest.

Sincerely, I didn’t even want to post about my gain. Blah. But, this journey isn’t easy and right now its all in my head. I wish my brains could receive hugs.

People plateau, they gain, they lose. I am thankful I didn’t go back over 200. I am thankful I can learn from my mistakes and see the overall progress. If I could lose weight on vacation, I certainly don’t want to and don’t have to let holidays slip me up. I am better and healthier than I was at the beginning of this year. I am over 100lbs down from my highest (known) weight of 298 and damnit, in 20lbs, I will be out of the “obese” range on the BMI chart (“overweight” range is odd to strive for right?).

Here’s to pushing forward anyway, for me.

As Joe Dirt would say, just gotta keep on keepin’ on.

Damn you, candy.

Okay, because if I tell someone individually they will tell me it’s okay and it isn’t:

I got down, like so down, on candy yesterday. I know it’s because I was exhausted. It started with Starburst candy corn the day before. Yesterday I ate easily half the bag throughout the afternoon. I had had enough of myself so I just threw the rest in the trash sans packaging.

So, I decided consequences had to happen. I had decided to stretch and do my body weight circuit anyway, so I added a 10min bike ride on resistance level 7. Cool. Feeling better about having fallen mouth first into that Starburst bag.

Did pretty good, I cleaned hardcore yesterday too so I technically had the calories (the sugar though….eek). Then my husband, after dinner, asks me where I hid the Halloween candy from everybody (put in loud and inconvenient places) the other day, stating my MIL wanted some. She’s nearly 84, so I oblige. Hubs brings the candy out to the living room and dang man, thats all it took. I had a fun size box of junior mints, two fun size packages of plain m&ms and one tiny fun size twix. It could have been worse but I also could have been so much better.

I love candy man. An affliction, I fell victim. Curse you Halloween! Just kidding, I was all set with no candy in the house on Halloween until MIL walked in with a bag that night just in case we had any kids come by (didn’t, it poured). I am good as long as I have control over what’s brought in or bought. I’m usually even pretty good when the MIL brings home pastries and baked goods; in fact I think since Feb I’ve given in once or twice to half an Apple strudel. But, dude, candy. What the hell happened?

So, I immediately volunteered myself to do all the walking errands today to make sure I would for sure work out somehow today. I walked about 3 miles total. 2 of them errands, 1 with the boy in the stroller. So, I held my end of the bargain and I feel good about that part pf things.

Today though, wtf. I have had a string cheese, 3/4 of an orange, half a banana and about a cup and a half (roughly, includes meat sauce) of left over wheat spaghetti from last night. I have had so much to do all day and I just could not find time to eat.

Wait…. I’m writing this instead of eating…..

That’s okay. I felt like my weird opposite food days needed to be written out – that’s real life, folks. I feel bad about them both. Yesterday I bombarded my body with sugar and today I can’t seem to fill it with enough nutrients.

I think I feel better. We will see how tonight goes with the candy situation. It’s been within reach all day and I haven’t budged. I keep wanting to chuck it but I also want to send it through a program for soldiers as a care package. I just need a box and time and money to ship it. Ha. If there’s any left…. If not then I am still going to put together a care package because…. Why not, right?

Off for a pork chop, four bean salad and a simple green salad. Weeeee.