I haven’t been in the loop this week. I need to play catch-up eventually.

I’m sad. I think my cat is dying, for real. He has not improved much since before Thanksgiving. He isn’t eating enough and when he does it’s just the tiniest bit of gravy from wet food. He didn’t even want to get down on beef, chicken or tuna this week. He gained a little bit of weight and appetite picked up for about 36hrs but he’s back to a minimum now.

He’s super lethargic all the time but wants to be either outside, or in my mother-in-law’s room (which she isn’t cool with). He’s been scratching at her bedroom door and the side sliding glass door all night. I feel like he is trying to find his final napping spot and it hurts my heart.

I don’t want him to die but I do not want him to hang on unnecessarily either. It’s a duality. I spent half the day crying and cuddling with him and trying to get him to eat. This has resulted in fish-like puffy eyelids, super cute.

I had my heart-to-heart with him. He’s been a good fella, after all. I will be very happy if he turns around and gets on the mend but we are going on nearly four weeks of noticeable physical decline as well as temperament change. He doesn’t get excited or nervous and skiddish like he used to anymore. He’s slow and kind of clumsy and his eyes hang low more often than not. I am not a dummy, I’ve always been the first to point out an ill pet, unfortunately.

His name is Maxwell Silverhammer. He is my very best feline friend. I was asked by a friend when he was only 8 weeks or so if she thought we could take him. He wasnt doing well at their house, wasn’t going potty or eating. I fell in love. How could I not? His tail was crooked at the end and he seemed a bit jittery and fidgety but it all just gave him character.

I was 20 years old when he came into my life and now I am 30. He’s been there with me through the ultra-turbulent years of my brothers methamphetamine addiction, he was there through my own personal battles – mental, physical and emotional, through the foreclosure of our childhood home, through my first major move and subsequently has been here to meet my husband and our “kitten”. He aided my father-in-law with company and memories through his last months battling Alzheimer’s and has been a great friend to my son for the last two years.

How could my heart not slowly be ripping open?

He’s been a big part of my family, if he has to go, I just hope it’s peacefully.



2 thoughts on “

  1. So sorry, B. I just lost my childhood dog this past April, so I know how it goes. He was 15 and it was so hard to say goodbye, but sometimes it’s for the better because it’s not a good feeling to sit and watch them suffer.

    I hope that your cat makes a turnaround and gets better, though. 10 is not THAT old for a cat, so he might still have a few more good years in him! I hope so! ❤

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