Ashes

The veterinarian hospital we took our beloved Maxwell to when he passed has just called to inform me that his ashes are back and ready for pick-up.

I suppose, then, it’s no surprise that roughly 30 minutes before that I had a pretty random cry-fest in his memory. It’s weird to be excited about something a little morbid but alas, I am. Some friends and family keep asking me what I’m going to do with them. Well, I’m going to have a barbecue of course! I feel like it’s a silly question. I’m going to keep them, at least for now. Max wasn’t a dog, he didn’t have a favorite spot that wasn’t on my bed or my lap or with his claws stuck in my hair. If anything, he did like climbing up trees. I am entertaining the thought of turning him into a Japanese Maple tree via Bio Urn when we move and eventually have property.

I’m ready, I think. I wasn’t really expecting them to be ready until Friday or Monday. They even asked how I wanted his name positioned on the box. Maxwell Silverhammer. Kitty-pants, ahhh… and naturally, my toddler is fighting nap-time for two hours now. I’ve conceded he will be skipping the nap, hubbo still trying. It’s not going to end pretty.

I’m not ready to really be out in public though. There can be physical consequences and manifestations as a result of so much ugly-crying. Such being the constellation of pimples that has arrived on my face or the small planet of fever blisters under my nose this time (on the opposite side of last time) that are in an ugly, scabbing healing phase. My husband keeps suggesting outdoorsy, people infested activities and… he’s probably right, but my face, man.

Other projects moving along nicely, I feel like I’ve been pretty productive this week and it’s been personally insightful and reflective. I am impatient about one of two things I am working on that I am most excited about, but I can’t do that until after the first. At some point I should have a bombardment of awesome stuff in the mail coming my way which will (well, some) go out to other people. I just want to organize everything. I want to organize your stuff to. I don’t want to steal it, I just want it to look CLEAN as fuuuuu.

I really do enjoy organizing stuff. I’m not sure why. It’s amplified when I am sad but I’m generally down.

I need a change of scenery, I need to get back into the workouts that helped me be successful when I started. I need to commit to body weight circuits again and figure out what I want to do for cardio. I need to find new recipes so my “old” recipes don’t become old. I need to expand my pallet. All things to work on. I have so many different to-do lists it’s a little nuts, but they make sense to me and they don’t overwhelm.

Speaking of, I need to stop this and get back to those. Although, trying to post more than once a week is technically on my list, so…

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