Life and things like it

Hello.

I always feel like it’s been awhile every single time I post now. It is not my intention, in fact, my intentions are good. My eyeballs, they are not.

I have needed glasses probably since my son was born. Finally got to the optometrist in January but only now have ordered my glasses. Glasses are fucking expensive. Plain and simple. My brother pointed me in the direction of Zenni Optical which is GREAT. Two pair for under $50.

Point being, my eyes hurt so much
They have been strained and sore, tired, burning and achy for quite some time. I’ve never had to have glasses before, so I am interested to see what i may have been missing out on the last couple years. It’s hard to get anything done on a computer or phone when your eyes want to burst out of their sockets. So, I have been trying to stick to what feels necessary on the pc and otherwise try to stay away until my eyeballs are feeling refreshed.

Plus I am still working with a cracked phone screen and a dinosaur lappy. I should cut myself a little slack.

It’s kind of silly though, I mean, I started this Jamberry Nails consulting and it requires everything to be on the internet. A tangled web we weave! I haven’t decided if I should share that link here, if anyone would care, since thats not the general premise of this blog. What is though? Weight loss?

What is weight loss? Just a step in the overall journey. Weight loss is life and the things that accompany it. Weight loss is not the be all end all, it just IS. Some days it goes well and others it does not.

Look at me, preaching after some Captain crunch, ha!

Speaking of, I didn’t budge this week. No gain or loss to speak of which I am okay with currently – 173.1lbs btw. What’s bothering me is my recurring injury in the foot that is making everyday stuff excruciating. It’s just annoying. It’s also getting a lot harder to shed any lbs in general.

It’s been a weird week. Most of the time I can find the good in people but this week I am struggling with it on so many levels. My most disappointing momets for the last two months involve family/friends not helping out their niece/grandaughter for this online diaper raffle I have been trying to throw for her. $150 in two months should be easy but we are still $80 short because everyone else is still concerned with how they are feeling about this girls pregnancy because of her age and being single, meanwhile she’s 9 weeks out, scared and not feeling one bit grounded or secure. How selfish her family is being. It really churns my heart too, as I have known them quite awhile. I have been there for her since day one, albeit from afar, but I am glad I decided to make the commitment to be a source of support and advice for her (it is SUCH A LONG STORY, but I was the first person to know back in August).

I have always been able to consider all perspectives, it is as much a gift as it is a curse!

That being said, I think this new moon/equinox business has been making me feel a little anxious this week. I could use a little good juju and some fingers crossed that I start making some headway with this Jamberry stuff so we can move FORWARD!

please. 🙂

PS – my tomato seedlings from last year are thriving… Over a dozen tomatoes currently producing and baby Mantis’ have naturally made their way to the plant! No eggs, didn’t purchase any. Woohoo!

Late weigh in post!

I want to apologize for totally sucking at posting for a couple months now.

I’m not totally out of it, I am still weighing in on Tuesday mornings, I’ve just been busy. And tired. So tired.

Tuesday’s Weigh-In:

Starting Weight Feb 2014: 261.2lbs
Weight Last Week: 175.5lbs
Current Weight: 173.1lbs
Weekly +/-:  -2.4lbs
Total Shed: 88.1lbs

Pretty successful week! I secretly weighed in yesterday and it was the same. I don’t usually weigh twice in a week (and I think that’s only twice in the past year!), just felt like it.

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SO CLOSE TO DITCHING OFFICIAL OBESITY!!! Ahem....

I haven’t been eating a lot or at all lately. I’m tired all the time. My son has been acting like a text book terrible two kiddo. He’s not sick, he’s not injured, figured daylight savings would mess him up for a few days but DANG. I hope its just a phase and at the end of it, perhaps, some real speaking will come from this kid. I know he’s trying and he gets frustrated. Mega meltdowns, that’s all – and he’s pretty loud no matter happy or upset. Hahaha.

I found out one of my old coworkers/managers/mentors/mom figures died. Not in a cool way either. My former manager posted a picture of her and I commented something to the effect of “give her a squeeze for me!” & all the sudden I’ve got a private message from him telling me that she had died a few days prior of aggressive bladder cancer. She was only 56. I didn’t even know. I had planned on visiting her next month while we are up North to show her I made it, ahaha. Oh man. Well, I guess she can see now and I know she would be really proud but I really, really want one of those Mama Bear hugs again. 😦

That’s all of the sad news at least, albeit a big loss. Other than a sprained foot that has kept me from really exercising the way I’d like to.

Been getting back outside for small walks with my son in the lead. I usually have to chase him away from the street! Today we attempted the library again. He lasted about 15 minutes before totally losing his mind over a giant bean bag turtle. I don’t think I have ever heard him squeal like that! It was cute, but like I said, he’s LOUD. So loud and I get it – I won’t let my kid ruin your quiet library time. This is why I need land. Being loud is mostly just a form of energy release/burst and this kid has got plenty of energy!

This independent consulting thing for the nail wraps is going okay! I am anxious for it to get rolling a little more but it’s been just over a month. I’ve done better than I though so maybe I just need to chill out. 🙂 haha. I just know everyone would love them and I get excited and can’t wait for other people to be excited either. It’s weird but that’s how I roll.

Much, much more to do today. I already feel better after this.

Happy Friday the 13th! Some of my favorite cats have been black. 🙂

I’ve missed a few weigh-in days….

At least on here, I did them at home though they’re nothing to brag about. Since I pride myself on being honest even when it’s ugly here we go!

Last post here I was 175.7lbs, the week after that I was at 176.1lbs. Wasn’t even too bummed about it because my mom had been in town and we didn’t eat like crap but I didn’t drink enough water either so I figured it was water weight. Then, last week, I weighed in at 179.5lbs. WHAT? Anyway. It was my PMS (sincerely though, PMDD, which is worse) week and all that.

I had to come to terms with my weigh-ins. They were definitely emotionally based and my attitude going into them was negative. I upped my water intake over the course of the week after that and got mostly back-on-track and some big to-do items off my list.

DRUMROLL PLEASE:

Starting Weight Feb 2014: 261.2lbs
Weight Last Week: 179.5
Current Weight: 175.5lbs
Weekly +/-:  -4lbs
Total Shed: 85.7lbs

While my goal in February was to stay out of the 180s and remain out of them and I did, I don’t even feel good about it. Grateful, but not good. There is a difference.  At least I’m about back to where I was a couple of weeks ago. I don’t know why plateaus still surprise me, they should be expected at this point.

February was weird though. I was so anxious for February to start back in January that I remained pretty anxious all throughout February. I suppose some of it was the start of my Independent Consulting thing, which I actually did OK in the first month. It’s not bringing a lot in right now but over time and with a few other at-home gigs I home I can provide something somewhat substantial to my household income. We’ll see.

I also injured my foot the week my Mom was here. I thought it was my second toe on the  left foot but its the padded area below that and in the ball of the foot on the bottom. It’s a terrible spot. I can stretch and walk lightly but definitely no body weight circuits were happening or can happen any time soon. It’s a delicate place, whatever it is called. My son has managed to stop on or a drop a book in the exact spot nearly every day for the last few weeks. The power children possess..

Ahhh. All that being said, I feel good about even writing in here. Sometimes I feel like people will forget I was even here if I drop off the face of the planet. Truly I was just sad and keeping busy to keep from being sad and for the most part, it worked. I have been a productive little B-Stinger. Yesterday I let my artistic side out and finally sat down and drew/colored/put together a gift for my expectant cousin and her baby girl. Cinderella and GusGus. That was fun. Next is Pooh Bear for a young girl I have been sort of helping or guide through her pregnancy, as she will be a single Mama.

Speaking of Mama, my cub is going nuts. Until later!