Life Never Stops

I thought I’d come to this conclusion and made peace with it already?

The tidal wave that started before my birthday has continued. Have I written since my birthday? Probably not! It was terrible. Though there were no hard feelings from anyone toward me specifically, there was so much fighting going on that I ended up making my own dinner. I even had to eat it alone. That’s how my birthday went. Maybe next year, eh?

Life continues to throw many fast and curveballs my direction. My brother-in-law had come by a week or so ago saying that their mom (my MIL) would be retiring and moving in with him in August. Awesome! A giant worry off the list! She’s 84, she’s been working because she chooses to.

As it were, I forgot that most people cannot be relied on. Upon the first phone call to discuss the first round of stuff to take to back to his place that upcoming (this past) weekend, which was just photos, he already freaked out. He told us their mom should do this leisurely but not at the end of the workday, but she’s been spending a lot of weekends at his place so how the heck? Okay whatever. We tried to brush it off and continue as planned.

Fathers Day weekend was relaxed, although the Jeep almost didn’t start – again. We aren’t sure when or if we will fix it because we really just need a new car. Okay, same page, cool!

Come Monday of this week, my brother in law brings my MIL home and starts barking orders at us about what needs to happen. No hello, nothing..just “this is what I need you to do”. I kept my cool and tried to figure out where all the anger and angst were coming from. I reminded him we do literally everything for his mom as far as houswork, cooking, shopping goes. I reminded him that we have a toddler and only one barely functioning vehicle. I also reminded him of everything we have done since we have been here: cared for his dying father, made sure his mom stayed motivated after the death, spent the last 3 years taking care of her and cleaning up the house and the storage (it was very, very, very crowded here), managing her health appointments, prescriptions, driving her everywhere. That I’ve personally come quite a long way in regards to health (which has had positive benefits on the ENTIRE household), I’ve invested in myself when no one else would hire me. I asked him to his face if he thought we sat around with our thumbs up our asses.

You know what he did? He put his hands on his hips and gave me a snotty shrug! Prick. Then he told me that everything we have done DOES NOT MATTER. None of it matters apparently because now this is what HE wants.

You know, I’ve been called a lot of things by people closest to me… I’ve had people make really awful assumptions about me and say those things without so much as giving me the courtesy of speaking to defend myself. I’ve NEVER had someone tell me what I do in life doesn’t matter. Offensive as fuuuu.

I proved all those other people wrong and I will prove him wrong without even trying. I just hate being made out to be the loser assholes for doing the right thing.

It’s cool though, I don’t go to bed with a guilty conscience

Liars – can’t stand them.  Clearly communication is not his forte. I gave this guy the benefit of the doubt since I met him.

100% disappointed.

Did I mention he was totally okay with yelling at me with my kid on my hip? Cool bro.

Good vibrations friends… Need all the good juju and luck to get out!

Weigh-in next week!

My Birthday Curse

Today I’m going to complain because I haven’t got anywhere else to do it!

Every year without fail something happens just before or on my birthday that kind of blows my day to smithereens. Every year I have been a good sport about it and think, “okay, next year is gonna be AWESOME!”

My birthday is this coming Sunday.

Starting a few weeks ago, I had finished my first Jamberry event and had borrow a bunch of vendor-related stuff from other consultants because I hadn’t had time to pay for them and have them get to me in time. I’d also had a bunch of trade stuff going on with a friend – so I was preparing all of these packages at the same time. I’ve ALWAYS scheduled a pick-up at home and put out my packages moments before the postal carrier arrives.

Well, this time someone stole all those packages. They didn’t think I was home but I was, alone with my son – I chased them about as far as I could really go without leaving my boy behind by himself. I got the best details I could, filed a police report, but you know how it goes – they’re in the wind! Never getting them back. So now, of course, I had to buy/replace anything that had been stolen. You know when you finally get to that point of just a TINY BIT ahead on everything? THEN IT’S ALL STOLEN.

I’m not mad about replacing things for these people, it’s the right thing to do. I’m just mad that some asshole stole from my porch. I’m mad I left the packages out. Then my postal carrier sent me a “picked-up” notice and even though I had insurance on the packages, had this notice and everything, since they’d never actually been picked up, the best I could do was get the cost of postage back. YEAH COOL. $16 vs $150+.

In fact, one of these very packages that I had to purchase – which I did so directly from the website to be shipped to a girl in Utah – is STILL IN LIMBO. Yesterday I checked tracking and it’s in Southern California – everyone’s information has this woman’s UT address and it took me, I shit you not, 60 minutes to get a live person on the phone to tell me exactly what the automated system and online systems can tell me: the last scan information. OKAY. Now they tell me I get to wait until the 6th, except she needed it by the 6th and I ordered this around May 19. SO UM. So I was told to wait.

Additionally, medical insurance is in limbo as well – even though I’ve done everything properly on my end. I turned everything in a month early – I’ve been flaked on numerous times and today I was told, again, to wait until some time next week. WELL, I’ve been working on this since the beginning of April and they apparently can’t get their thumbs out of their asses and have 2 copies of my paperwork. They have no record of my having come in and suggested I come in, again. Or schedule a phone thing, again, so no one can call me.

So I’m out a few hundred because of the theft and my time was wasted on the phone wherein I could have been a lot more productive instead of stewing in angst. Plus no one can friggin hear me on my phone because my adorable son broke it in August 2014.

That “few hundy” was going to my next fitness/health adventure which will now have to be on hold until I can recoup that loss.

My storage rent went up again. I’ve had it for 3 years and it’s gone up almost $40 – that’s a lot, right? In the same day as that notice (yesterday) I also received an e-mail stating that during inspection they noticed my lock was “missing” – upon calling this morning all I was told was that during renovation they took my lock off, put a new lock on, then took it off because they assumed I’d put a new one on (even though my address lists me over 300 miles away……). I asked how long my unit had been without a lock, if it’d been broken into. I was met with all “all the notes say are” and a “we will put a new lock on and you will need to buy a new one and switch it out. come to the office when you get here”.  Sure, let me jump in and drive a few days early to come handle this now.

I’m tired of having my time wasted over things like this. I am a very diligent person, I do things the right way the first time, I’m a good person. Why all the obstacles man?

And in the event I can still make this roadtrip possible to see my family and friends for my birthday because this is all I have tried to make happen for the last 3-4 years…. now it’s going to be squished as shit because I have to spend a day either reorganizing/going through my storage and/or relocating everything.

There’s a bunch of stuff up in the air with one of my nieces and two of my nephews and nobody seems to be communicating with anyone on that. It’s so complicated though I mean…

A lot of this is surface stuff, there are some COOL and some WEIRD things in the works… and some seriously deep stuff I can’t even get into right now.

I joked with my husband the other night that I wondered if my psychology teacher in high school was still around – he’d had my oldest brother, my sister and myself in his class. He certainly had a handful of perspective on my family – we could probably have a good laugh about my final paper my senior year (A+ and extra credit OKAAAYYY) and how things are currently turning out.

Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming…

I know the light is at the end of the tunnel but today it just doesn’t seem as bright. Still going to a demo tonight to see if I can find a way to move forward with my plans anyway!

Hope Sunday fuggin RULES.

Life is Weird

Mine has been a rollercoaster for a few weeks now, but I’ve done OK. MONTHLY WEIGH IN!

Starting Weight 2/2014: 261.2lbs
Weight 5/5/15: 169.5lbs
Weight 6/2/15: 168.2lbs
+/-:  -1.3lbs
Total Shed: -93lbs

I will take it and roll with it. It’s not easy at this juncture, however, I am only 7lbs shy of shedding 100lbs. Holy shit!

I’m very aware what fat is left has likely been on me or “stored” the longest. It’s only 25lbs. But it’s 25lbs, you know?  I’ve been looking into the best way to keep lean muscle and build energy sans caffeine.

It’s definitely a lack of amino acids for me after having spent the last few weeks using the powers of deduction.  So, I’m going to focus there and on nutrients as a whole. I eat well, but I still am not getting enough of what my body needs to keep operating optimally. I felt significantly better after what I’ve tried, so I’m headed that route. When I’ve got more experience under my belt perhaps I will reveal. 🙂

Sunday is my birthday! I will be 31.

30 has been good to me, extremely challenging in a lot of ways but look at me now, eh? If I can accomplish half of what I did during 30 I am all set.

We are supposed to drive North for it to see my family and friends. I’m really nervous since we are taking the very car that died on us during our last trip ANYWHERE besides this little town in October ’14.  A lot of…things… Have come up. Some things I’ve waited my entire life for (and am both excited/nervous about) and some things involving a niece and nephews and… It’s all um.

It’s a lot, man. People keep coming to me about this ultra-heavy, super-sensitive stuff. I can take it, I might be one of the best people in the family to come to if you’re looking for someone to understand perspective, actually listen and approach you/the situation logically. I’m okay with helping facilitate where need be. It just feels like me wanting to celebrate being alive another year is definitely going to get thrown on the back burner. My birthday never quite turns out the way I always hope it will!

I will make the best of it, I always do.. I think it will be a good year for everyone I love as a whole. Lots and lots of change coming my way, our way, your way!

On the upside… a real move is looking possible for us some time this summer – need good vibes and fingers crossed!
I need me a small chunk o’ land!