Weigh-in Tuesday

….& actually on Tuesday!

I was having a bad body image day yesterday so I was really not interested in weighing in today, but I did.

Starting Weight Feb 2014: 261.2lbs 
Weight Last Week: 194.9lbs
Current Weight: 192.0lbs
Weekly +/-:  -2.9lbs
Total Shed: 69.2lbs

I felt pretty dumb about lamenting over my progress the day before. I do feel like I am flabbier, so I definitely want to commit to my body weight circuits at least twice a week. Although I know some of it is saggy skin and over years of toning it will get as good as it can, yadda, yadda. It is getting to a stage where its bumming me out sometimes and I’m trying my best to fight past it and just keep on working on myself and any “tightening” comes with work. It will be okay. At the end of the day I will take saggy skin over obseity every time.

So, yeah. Walking is taking priority at the moment, just ’cause they’re my wheels right now. I stepped on this triangle magnet toy thing the other day right on the bottom of my heel. It has flared up my plantar fasciitis big time. But gotta do what you gotta do.

I started out my day with a 2.2 mile roundtrip walk to the bank, the corner market and then to get some diapers and bananas for the boy. I found myself walking without so much hesitation or fear that I was being stared at or mocked. I didn’t give a shit either. I guess…. It was liberating. Very, “fuck yeah!” followed by a mental high-five to self. I even talked to an almost elderly gentleman who was walking four dogs. Truly, it was the dogs I stopped for… 🙂

My day has otherwise been pretty busy, it always is. I feel compelled to write about my recent experiences with Almond Milk. I keep forgetting to mention it. I’m mildly lactose interolant and mostly have a problem with just milk or heavy creams. Cream sauces. Sour cream, ice cream and cheese are usually okay in small, portioned doses. I really, really like cereal though – nothing crazy, always been a fan of the healthier stuff.  So one day I thought, screw it, just gonna try it! It’s not bad at all, I mean, if you don’t have a nut allergy. Plus it keeps way longer than cows milk. It’s nice to have cereal without the consequences.

This went in a weird direction. I’m just tired… Ha.

Progress pics at 70lbs down and measurements next week. I’m beefing up my legs, yahhhh.


Late post: Weigh-in Day and then some

Okay, I started writing the majority of this on my actual weigh in Tuesday this week, but… Ha. You’ll see. Just been buuuuusy.

Well, I am back from our five day adventure in the Bay Area. I missed home, a lot. I am not particularly excited to be back but life does go on and I’ve got shit to do. Lets get to the weigh in and then, the shenanigans of out of town-ness. It’s gonna be a long one, so hold

Starting Weight Feb 2014: 261.2lbs 
Weight Last Week: 196.0lbs
Current Weight: 194.9lbs
Weekly +/-:  -1.1lbs
Total Shed: 66.3lbs

I have to admit, I am beyond proud and excited for myself about this loss. It was difficult to try and track everything I was eating because I didn’t have a lot of control over dinners, especially. This was my first “vacation” since I decided to take back my life and my body and I kept on track. This was a huge test and I passed. I feel like I can finally say I’ve made a true lifestyle change for the better!

We stayed at my husband’s friends place up in the San Francisco area last Wednesday and Thursday.  She’s a classy gal, this one. She had a pot roast with vegetables ready for us upon our arrival and since we had packed our own snacks on the way up, I knew I could eat dinner guilt-free and I did. Oh, I did.

She’s got the best dogs, one of them being a Labradoodle (first generation) who really looks like a giant Muppet. Anyway, my husband helped raise those dogs as he watched them constantly for her back in the day when she was traveling for work – she is an attorney. Or was, she’s retiring and moving back to the East Coast, which brings me to Day 2 at her place….

So, since she was going through everything and doesn’t want to ship it all, she was donating a lot of stuff. Having been through major weight loss herself and talking about my current progress, she ran away and brought in all these bags of clothes. Like baaaagggggsss of clothes. So, we played dress-up and you know what? It’s the first time I had fun doing something like that. It helps that all her stuff was really, really nice and that it actually fit my current body. Then – you guys – no joke, she told me I could keep what I wanted because she was donating it to people who were just going to sell it at a flea market anyway.


So, woo! I scored a bunch of cool stuff. I’m not sure how long it will all fit but it sure made me feel so good to have real, actual, girly clothes to choose from now. I even took some stuff that will fit in 10-15lbs from now. Not a lot but ya know. Lots of tops and around four pair “skinny” pants/leggings which actually don’t look awful on me. I also got some sweet jackets and skirts.  I am SO thankful for her generosity and she seemed genuinely excited to pass her clothes along to someone she knows and that was in need for them. I think what may have sealed the deal for her on it, is knowing I already have a small (really, it’s just three of us, haha) clothing swap group I’ve been sending my clothes to as they dont fit and then they send them to each other depending where they’re at. I’m glad we started that. Now I can part with some stuff I was holding onto because I barely had anything else!

…roasted chicken with veggies for dinner at her place night #2. Yuuuum.

Friday we spent at my sisters and we had a belated birthday dinner for my mama. My mom and brothers hadnt seen me since January so, they were a little shocked. My mom kept insisting my face was too skinny, my younger brother hugged me and said, “whoa, there’s a lot less of you to hug, I don’t know how to react!”, ha. My older brother is socially and mostly always charmingly awkward and simply said, “so hey, you lost some weight”.  The response was very positive from my family overall.

Saturday was our first wedding anniversary. We spent it celebrating one of my childhood friends wedding day. I was nervous about this because I knew at least one old high school bully would be there, which he was.

The ceremony was short and sweet just off the beach, the weather was perfect and the couple looked like statuesque Greek gods. Perfect.

The reception started with my friends Aunt stopping dead in her tracks to ask me if I was me and when I laughed and said, “geez, do I really look that different?”, she about lost her mind. She’s known me since I was around 13ish so… She’s always known me bigger. That felt pretty damn good, I gotta say. I got it from a lot of folks, which felt great.

I did, however, get seated at the same table as my former bully. As well as some other awesome folks… Ha. At one point we were outside and he was mentioning what a dick he was to people in high school. So, I’m sure the glass of wine I had helped, I asked him if he remembered being a dick to me and I started laughing. I think it threw him off that I was so direct about it. He said yes and he was trying to get to that but since I had presented it first….
He apologized. Said he has felt bad for years and wanted me to know, if it made me feel better, that remorse has played a huge role in his feelings towards me. It did, and I told him that. We let bygones be bygones and we shook hands and hugged it out. I forgave him and he thanked me for it. That felt really good too. Like, really good.

Sunday a friend of mine drove to my sisters so that our kiddos could meet finally. We have been trying to plan this for nearly two damn years. We didn’t force them to play together but they did play together and separate as well. They were so good with each other it was way too cute. 

Later we headed to my oldest brothers house about an hour southeast of my sisters place. We always have a good time with them. Their son is affected by autism and I’m always so enchanted by him and to see what new skills he has acquired since I last saw him. He communicates so well for not being able to speak much. He really, really loved having his baby/little cousin around and they laughed together and my nephew kept buttering me up so he could play with my son’s toys, haha. It was pretty cool. I was also finally able to hand off a box of clothes each to my niece and my sister-in-law!  it was a shorter night than usual for us, being we left at 12:30am instead of 3am, ha.

Now comes Monday morning, we had planned to leave around 930-10-30 to get back home around 3ish. I probably should have mentioned that our 12 year-old Jeep started making a ticking or fluttering noise on the way up. Upon an oil change, we were told they were dirty lifters, were lubed/clean and we were told the sound would stop in time.

Well, about halfway into our drive home… The sound gets worse and our toddler is just not wanting to sit in the car anymore. My husband and I note the noise and both silently pray and send good vibes out to at least get us home. Let me tell you, whatever we both wished or prayed to/for worked.

After a near six hour drive as we were in the exit only lane of the freeway  – our last exit before home – the motor starts sputtering, the car will no longer accelerate. As we were on the off-ramp, it just stopped running and the engine started smoking. We were able to safely get the car into a parking lot just off the exit before it came to a complete halt. We were 2.1 miles from home. So, that happened. Haha.  After a call to AAA to get it towed home, hubs took a breather with the boy and they walked.home while I waited for the tow. The driver said what I had already thought: probably a blown head gasket since it was leaking oil and coolant together. Argh.

To add insult to injury, a week prior we had just purchased new tires. I had also agreed to pick up my brother from the airport this week on Tuesday night and take him to a court date Weds and back to the airport Weds night. So, we spent the night scrambling to unpack the car and come up with a game plan. Luckily, AAA offers (for Premier membership) a free rental with tow and since we had to get the car to the shop anyway, that’s what we ended up doing late Tuesday afternoon. So we got one free day and a standard size car at $30/day through AAA. Not too bad.

So, I held up my end of the bargain with my brother. I picked him up from the airport about 10pm Tuesday night, was up at 5:15am on Weds morning to make sure he was up and that we had enough time to make it to the courthouse by 7:30am…. Which we didn’t because the LA/OC area is ridiculous. 27mi took almost two hours. His case wasn’t heard until around 10am, we had lunch and dropped someone off – back to the house by 1:30pm to relieve husband from screaming child and so my bro could take a nap and at 4pm we were back on the road for his flight home.

So, yeah. Today I spent the first part of the day running errands to the store and things like that before we take the rental back tomorrow afternoon. I’m pretty sure it’s not going to be worth what it will cost to fix the Jeep and we arent in a position to buy a car yet either so!  Looks like a lot of walking in my future, eh?

Silver linings:
1. jeep took us on one last family adventure. It was our last trip in what ended up being our first family car!
2. No accidents, no one was hurt
3. Hubs and I both still lost weight on vacation
4. It makes a great story!

If you’re still here…. Thanks! Ha.

Looking forward to catching up with everyone!

Weigh in and check in

My phone is still cracked and taped to hell. I tested the laptop out, processor fan is nearly dead so, there’s that.

I’ve been trying to keep up with everyone on here but it looks like I will need to some serious backtracking once I get something I can see and read properly on. Until then, a few quick updates!

Weigh in:

Starting Weight Feb 2014: 261.2lbs
Weight Last Week: 211.2lbs
Current Weight: 210.8lbs
Weekly Loss: 0.4lbs
Total Loss: 50.4lbs

Not a huge loss but a loss and I will take it. 211 is gone. Also, I found out, I am only 5lbs heavier than one of my older brothers! Fair fight! Granted his is more muscle than fat but the bullied-by-her-brother teen in me is screaming “FUCK YES!”

My Fitness Pal has readjusted my daily calorie goal from 2000 to 1910. When I started using MFP in June I was at a daily goal of 2100.

Add me, I need more friends/motivation, please! pbandjax@Gmail.com (yeah, I created an email for blog and fitness-related shenanigans)

Measurements next week.


I didn’t do super well on food tracking and water intake. It was hit or miss all week and although my food choices weren’t awful I know I do better when I track.  I do know I stayed under calories because I know the way I eat. I rarely get over 1500 these days. I don’t feel starving ever, though.

I ate some cookies for the first time since February. They were good, but not the way I wanted them to taste. I take that back, they were awesome out of the oven otherwise, meh.

Gettin’ Physically Fit

Not a bad or great week. Got in three or four family walks, a bike ride, several stretching sessions and a circuit training workout. I would like to up the ante on my workouts, hence wanting more MFP buddies. I only have one semi-active person out of six on there.

During my circuit training I was able to do five, count ’em! One, two, three, four, FIVE regular push-ups (and then five knee supported) per circuit on Friday. WHAT? YAY! Ten real pushups and I actually did them, not without jello-arms for several hours after but I did it! Major personal NSV.

‘Tis all for now, hope to see you on MFP!

That’s Braktastic!

“Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels!” Oh, Brak.

Space Ghost Coast to Coast, anyone? Eh?

It’s been an interesting week, to say the least. First and foremost, a health update! I had a breast ultrasound on 8/13 and got my results back this week: no abnormalities! Still waiting on an appointment or approval letter about the liver thing, though (spot was found during abdominal ultrasound while checking for gallstones, of which there were none). One less thing! I also decided to check my sugar before I ate one morning and I was at 104, excellent. Not that I was worried, I was just curious.

I didn’t get in nearly enough workouts this week but I didn’t eat like crap either, so I guess we will see how things pan out on Tuesday.  My lack of workouts as of late, however, did prompt me to announce to my Facebook friends and family what I’ve been up to and how much I’ve lost and all that. I think I did it as a way to continue to keep myself accountable since I’ve been feeling a bit lackluster. The response was a little overwhelming, positively so. I still don’t know how to react to compliments, though I tried my best to remain simple and humble and not dismiss my own progress. So, now everyone I care to know about it, does.

I found homes for clothing, finally. I sent a lot of my old clothes (in good condition, of course) home with my sister to be dropped off with my sister-in-law as she is dropping the pounds as well and my sizes were up her alley. I sent a package with three pair of brand new jeans that I couldn’t use to my cousin in Oregon, along with a nightgown I barely used in my third trimester of pregnancy. Also, a funky gold sweater found a home in a girl I know here locally, through the Circle K convenience store. She is sweater obsessed, I sent her a picture, she loved it, so I brought it by on her birthday of all days. She has since left Circle K and started at a salon since finishing beauty school. I’ve asked if she wouldn’t mind chopping my locks and she said could do it in-home. WHAT? Friggin’ sweet. My hair hasn’t been cut in…. Well, at the end of this month it will have been a full year. So, it’s pretty long (it isn’t grody, I don’t blow dry or put after shower products in my hair) and I think I want it cut to my shoulders, which feels really short to me. I’m excited though!

Those sunflowers I was growing bloomed, they’re so pretty. As I mentioned before, I grew them from seed for my neighbor after his wife passed away – her favorite flower. With one bud left to open, we brought them over yesterday to gift to the neighbor. I was so nervous, I hoped he would get it. Boy, did he get it. I guess we couldn’t have stopped in on a better day. He’d been having a rough time, the shock-fog was finally lifting and rearranging or stopping things he used to do (like calling his wife at breaks and lunch) are hard for him to get used to. He patted his chest and said, “this was her favorite flower.. I really needed this today. I just couldnt get into anything today but this.. this is good. Thank you so much.” I felt that wave and I was impressed with his ability to maintain in the moment. We left shortly after that, of course not without having said hello to his daughters, grandsons and their golden retriever (who reminded me of my own childhood retriever, Penny).

I also managed to send out school supplies to my niece and nephews this week. 🙂

I’m glad I didn’t chicken out this week. I did publish that post to my friends and family, I did reach out to people to inquire about awesome clothes and I’ve been able to help 3 gals and score a free at-home hair cut and I did bring that pot of flowers over and visit and talk instead of leaving them at the doorstep with a well-written card.

So, while I may have not been as active, I still feel like a lot was accomplished this week. A lot of fear facing and self-forced social situations that ended nicely. It’s as much in our heads as it is on our bodies!

Now, for fun, the aforementioned third trimester nightgown I was modeling for my cousin:


Don't mind the toys, I have an almost two year-old. Or my face. This picture was meant just for my cousin until I saw my own progress in it, LOL.

Also, if you aren’t using the Cartwheel app for Target, you are missing out on savings:

No, not endorsing..  just passing on savings tips!

Personal best

Today, the size 16 jeans I bought in June finally fit! They are not too snug nor too loose at this time.

I am having a hard time believing it as I still struggle with seeing my size 24 body in the mirror. I’m working on it! This is me at my personal best as an adult, so far, and I only expect to get better. I haven’t been in size 16s since literally half my life ago, what a trip!

Anyway, just a quick post for now. I’m exhausted and its finally only supposed to be in the high 80s today so I’m hoping to get an excellent workout in, finally!

Friday NSV’s – Keeping Motivated

Summer will never end. I guess we are still looking at triple digits for the next seven days. It really has NOT been under 100℉ in about a month, so, I thought today I would post some Non-Scale Victories I have noticed this week to keep myself on track and motivated:

1. I can finally wrap a bath towel around my whole person without exposing my lady-bits – score.

2. My wedding ring keeps flying off while showering or giving the boy a bath, so it has to come off now during those times.

3. I JOGGED for about five minutes straight, indoors, for my son’s entertainment the other day. I didn’t realize until about my 10th lap around the living room what I was doing. I don’t think I’ve been able to do that in almost a decade or more. Truth.

4. Now I’ve got ankles, not cankles.

5. I fit better in the bath tub. As in, my thighs don’t create so much of a dam anymore that the back part of the tub doesn’t fill. Ha.


Now, how many times will I refer to this list today for help? Ha. The stationary bike is in the hottest room of the house so unless my boy goes down early for a nap this morning, I don’t know if I can get to the bike. I’ve been getting my stretching in and got at least one day of strength in this week. I’ve done all of this without a gym membership so far – hubs always asks why I don’t just workout in the living room but I feel I am not as focused on my whole self if I have fun distractions like my man and my boy around.

What do you guys do indoors to keep active without over-heating?