I had a boss tell me once that I needed to learn to bullet point better in emails and notes. Once I started that, he told me he needed more detail. This tiny interaction with him has made me hyper focus on how “too detailed” I am ever since.
I never could find a real balance with trying to keep it short and sweet with details.
Let’s be real, it didn’t just annoy my boss; it can be annoying for friends and family members, strangers, receptionists who can’t help me with my issues & just wanna transfer my call. I’ve just always been detail-oriented whether it’s verbally, within writing, in projects and good Lord, my thoughts. I can feel it happening, especially verbally. Try to do a quick mental note to just get to the point like everyone wants. Know what happens when I do that? Questions for details. It’s so much easier to be a little annoying in the beginning and then have given all the information by the end that one may want or need to know. They forget they were even annoyed to begin with. Usually.
Of course, there’s always the useless (actually, sometimes really useful) facts gallery, too…
I’m 35 years-old and still can’t strike a balance with it & you know what? It’s proven so useful. Unbelievably so, that in fact, I am sure I spent my entire life being detailed oriented for right now. For now and for forever.
The most important reason
I am able to be extremely thorough with my son’s school team, therapy teams and doctors, which is just easier on everyone. You should see my file since his diagnosis. Holy shit. I am aware anything is possible and definitely live by that. So, I know it’s possible my son with live with us until we both die. I know it’s possible for him to also become somewhat independent with time. Preparation is needed to both.
How it helps me
I am able to be thorough with my own doctors about my own health. I also tend to be lot more honest than your average Joe or Jane, because I find honesty is just easier – especially with doctors! Fun fact: I am mentally and physically restraining myself from explaining my health yays and nays. Later.
How it helps my family and friends
I am able to be thorough regarding health with my husband and my pets. My natural curiosity leads me on many research expeditions, typically so I may better understand my peers and their families and other loved ones. I am able to recall details for family and friends about events or dates, which is quite relied upon, now that I think about it.
How it helps the public
It’s been helpful in cases of car accidents I’ve been in or witnessed. Same with anything else I’ve witnessed that may need inquiry from authority.
The double-edged sword?
Well, it isn’t people being annoyed with me for a hot minute. It’s my naturally awkward and introverted nature + a plethora of details don’t always mix on the outside to people. It’s very much spot-on with the introverted crowd, in my experience.
This means that sometimes I am met with speculation, which isn’t a problem for me per se, as it is for others. I cannot control how other people react to anything, haha. I have been, and am painfully aware, that I am socially awkward and that once I start talking (though it really takes work to get me there in person if I’ve just met someone), almost anything can come out of my mouth. It’s gotten hilariously more awkward as I’ve been tucked in and somewhat isolated into this autism world with my little family.
Observation. That’s all it has been for my entire life – mere observation.
I attribute my detailed-ness to my years spent observing as a child and general curiousness – I want my questions answered so I’ll try to answer yours to the best of my ability and then some. Some of it, no doubt, comes from parts of my first couple decades of family troubles – I had to be observant and detailed oriented.
….or maybe I was just wired like this, which is probably at least half correct.
Cheers!
P.S. 187lbs today.
Perfectly Just Right 